No one ever said divorce was easy. Whether you're at the beginning of the divorce, during the middle of a divorce, struggling to find your way again; or at the end, when all is said and done, it can be hard to remember which way is up.
Here are a few tips for someone who is going through a divorce:
- Remember, you didn't cause the divorce. Divorce is NEVER the result of one person, no matter how you may feel. You both got married, you both are divorcing.
- You are NOT a failure. You may feel like you've failed because you couldn't make it work with your spouse. Your marriage didn't work out. Doesn't mean you failed.
- Try not to be hurt by those who choose sides. Sometimes, even your very best friends can decide your partner was "right" and choose to side with him (or her). There are no sides, only people. And while it will hurt, try to remember that it's a nice way to find out who truly loves you.
- The days when you can't even get off the couch to brush your teeth will happen. But they will also end. You will find your way again.
- Try your best not to become jaded. This is a hard, hard time, but it doesn't mean that the pain will last forever. It doesn't mean you failed, you're a bad person, or you'll never be happy.
- This isn't the end of you. You have to try really hard to remind yourself that you are a good person who deserves love, just like the next person, and that you will find it once again when you are ready. Try not to rush into another relationship.
- Do one thing every day that makes you happy. Whether it's exercising, taking a hot bath, getting a massage, or reading in bed until late at night, do it. And don't feel guilty about it.
- Reach out to people when you're hurting. Don't isolate yourself. It's really easy to hide in your bed all day, hoping this is all a dream. Instead of allowing that to continue, text someone, tell them you're in pain. Sometimes, even that act alone can help you find a bit of reassurance that people DO love you.