Here are some helpful hints to help you get through the holiday season:
- Ensure the children’s schedule is specific. Confirm the children’s schedule with your ex as far in advance as you can. If you don’t already have a specific schedule set out then negotiation those days and times as possible.
- Don’t fight over which days you have your children. Make whatever days you have with your children special. Most children of divorce will tell you that it is not the quantity of time that is important, it is the quality of time and the memories created when you are with them.
- Do something special for yourself. Enjoy a day by yourself. Open a bottle of wine, watch sports on television, take a bubble bath, wrap presents – do whatever you want to do to relax for one day.
- Support the Children’s relationship with the other parent. If you need to speak to someone about your sad feelings, talk to a friend of therapist – not your kids. The children’ don’t need to hear it. They need to hear that it is okay to have fun with their other parent too.
- Create new traditions. This is a new beginning for you and your children so don’t try to replicate the past. Find new ways to celebrate the event. You can preserve some of the past traditions but find new ways of celebrating too.
- Get outside. Go for a walk or a ski or a snowshoe. There is nothing more rejuvenating than being outside with nature and your family. When you kids are with you, take them outside too.
- Give of your heart. Most people are tight on money this year and that is likely worsened if you are recently separated. Do something special for the people you love. Give gifts that have lasting meaning. It is the feelings of love and appreciation that last forever.
- Stay sober. If you over drink, you can run the risk of crumbing into a pile of self-pity and depression. Nobody wants to see that and certainly your kids don’t need to see it.
- Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. If your family or friends are negative, remind them the season is all about gratitude, love and appreciation. Park your own negativity and search for the positive in everything and everyone, even your ex.